On wanting to be a lot of things:

A portrait of my sister that I did for her birthday last year.

My sister is at the stage in her life when people begin to expect an answer when they ask what she wants to do with her life. Because of that, she has been throwing a lot of ideas up into the air–doctor, social worker, lawyer, etc.–though in the end she just sort of shrugs and says, “I don’t know, ate*.” (Which is an acceptable answer.)

In contrast, when I was her age I knew what I wanted to be: useful. At the time, “adult” was synonymous to “functional”, and I aspired to become a person who would be indispensable to society at large.

So I chose medicine.

As I progressed through my undergraduate experience, however, I found that the answer to the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, was far more complex for me. I ultimately chose to go the route of medicine (albeit in a nontraditional manner), but my experience doing research in psychology fostered a desire to be a researcher. Double majoring in film/theater studies (narrative emphasis) rekindled my love for writing, enough that I was willing to dedicate my life to creating content–scripts and film, novels and comics, the whole kitten caboodle. On top of all that, I loved to create art, both through digital and traditional mediums, and found that I wanted to develop myself an artist (for personal gains).

“What do you want to be when you grow up, Edmarie?”

A lot of things, really.

Because of who I am as a person, the idea of giving up one in favor of another prematurely is something I’m unwilling to do; therefore, until I hit an unsurmountable roadblock, I see no harm in trying. This blog, for all intents and purposes, is my attempt to document my journey to medical school (hopefully, an MD-PhD program); a way to delve into research in my fields of interest; a space where I can share my voice and the art I want to create.

As time passes, I hope to look back on these posts and see the changes in myself both mentally and emotionally. Whether or not I am able to accomplish all that I hope to depends on my own tenacity (and really good time management). To those of you who are reading: wish me luck!

*  – pronounced [AH-teh]; A term of respect that refers to older girls in Filipino culture.


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